Confessions of a Guidette: Everything You Wanted to Know About Snooki (But Were Afraid to Ask)Bestselling author Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is back with a new book that will get you there with tips on tanning, animal prints, and partying. Snooki tells you everything you need to know to be just like her—the perfect guidettes. We’ve scored some of her exclusive tips here to get you started. By Tom Hardej
So you want to be a Guidette. Good news: New York Times bestselling author (!) Snooki is back with a new book that will get you there with tips on tanning, animal prints, and partying. There are even recipes! (We’re not even kidding.) Snooki tells you everything you need to know to be just like her—the perfect guidettes. We’ve scored some of her exclusive tips here to get you started.
“Be tan. Be brown. Be friggin’ orange. Be anything other than pale! Especially in the winter when everyone else looks like they died last week.”
“If you don’t have a hundred things in leopard, you’re not a guidette.”
“If you’re a guidette, your life revolves around partying—going out on the weekends, beating up the beat, hunting for guidos, going crazy with your girls.”
“Even if you’re shy, walk in a room like you own it. But not like a bitch.”
“Best guidette stress reliever: self-dance party in your room to Katy Perry (love that bitch more than life!).”
“Omigod. If I’m at a club and I see girls tryin’ to talk to my guy, I get in front of their faces like I’m gonna knock them out.”
“Do you really think I’d date a pale person who doesn’t like Ed Hardy? That would be awkward.”
Two things a guidette needs to know how to cook: “My Bangin’ Grilled Cheese” and “My Bangin’ Chicken Cutlets.”
“When you work out, don’t be prissy because you just look like an idiot. Unless your crush is there. Then make sure you wear your fake eyelashes.”
Guidette life goal: “Be boss lady of the world!”
And if you love Snooki, you’ll love seeing pics of her with her guidette BFFs in high school, along with the other members of Jersey Shore before they were stars.
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