Confessions of a Guidette: Everything You Wanted to Know About Snooki (But Were Afraid to Ask)Bestselling author Nicole â€śSnookiâ€ť Polizzi is back with a new book that will get you there with tips on tanning, animal prints, and partying. Snooki tells you everything you need to know to be just like herâ€”the perfect guidettes. Weâ€™ve scored some of her exclusive tips here to get you started. By Tom Hardej
So you want to be a Guidette. Good news: New York Times bestselling author (!) Snooki is back with a new book that will get you there with tips on tanning, animal prints, and partying.Â There are even recipes! (Weâ€™re not even kidding.) Snooki tells you everything you need to know to be just like herâ€”the perfect guidettes. Weâ€™ve scored some of her exclusive tips here to get you started.
â€śBe tan. Be brown. Be frigginâ€™ orange. Be anything other than pale! Especially in the winter when everyone else looks like they died last week.â€ť
â€śIf you donâ€™t have a hundred things in leopard, youâ€™re not a guidette.â€ť
â€śIf youâ€™re a guidette, your life revolves around partyingâ€”going out on the weekends, beating up the beat, hunting for guidos, going crazy with your girls.â€ť
â€śEven if youâ€™re shy, walk in a room like you own it.Â But not like a bitch.â€ť
â€śBest guidette stress reliever: self-dance party in your room to Katy Perry (love that bitch more than life!).â€ť
â€śOmigod. If Iâ€™m at a club and I see girls tryinâ€™ to talk to my guy, I get in front of their faces like Iâ€™m gonna knock them out.â€ť
â€śDo you really think Iâ€™d date a pale person who doesnâ€™t like Ed Hardy? That would be awkward.â€ť
Two things a guidette needs to know how to cook: â€śMy Banginâ€™ Grilled Cheeseâ€ť and â€śMy Banginâ€™ Chicken Cutlets.â€ť
â€śWhen you work out, donâ€™t be prissy because you just look like an idiot.Â Unless your crush is there.Â Then make sure you wear your fake eyelashes.â€ť
Guidette life goal: â€śBe boss lady of the world!â€ť
And if you love Snooki, you’ll love seeing pics of her with her guidette BFFs in high school, along with the other members of Jersey Shore before they were stars.